Truth or Dare
by asparagus-and-strawberry-tarts
Summary: Ahsoka was sure she had felt Anakin die during order 66 five years ago. Now, she's found out he's alive, and he has a daughter. She wants answers. (Set in my "Hide and Seek" AU. Disclaimer! I do not own Star Wars)
1. Prologue

_19 BBY: Mandalore_

Ahsoka Tano was being patient. Her mind was screaming at her, overloaded with the most powerful feeling of _danger_ she had ever sensed. But still, she stayed where she was, in a small house that had been abandoned by its occupants when the fighting had broken out a few days ago. She was slumped against the wall, concentrating on monitoring her surroundings with the force. She knew her men were bound to come through this sector, looking for her, but she and Rex just needed to stay here a little while longer, needed to disappear. He was digging his own fake grave, just outside, while she kept watch.

Ahsoka could still feel the vestiges of the deaths of the Jedi echoing inside her head, but it was more bearable now. When the order was first issued two hours ago, she had barely been able to see straight from the explosion of death that assaulted her through the force. She was extremely lucky she had Rex with her then, or she would probably be dead like the rest of them. That they had managed to shake the clones on their tail was nothing short of a miracle from the force. She and Rex had ducked into this building once they were sure they had lost their pursuers.

She still wasn't sure why exactly her men had turned on her, and why Rex hadn't. She would ask him about it later. Her heart clenched painfully just thinking about it. Going by the mass slaughter of Jedi that still echoed hollowly through her montrals, she guessed that her battalion hadn't been the only group of clones to turn on their Jedi commanders.

She hoped Anakin was okay… he couldn't have known how dangerous the troopers were, or else he never would have left her here with command of them. He must have been given enough warning to escape from his own forces, though. She could still feel his presence in the force, though it had been strangely dark and muted. Then again, everything in her head felt dark.

As if the very thought of her former master had brought it on, her mind exploded into chaos for the second time today, and she cried out. Her first thought was that the other clones had found them- had come to kill her- but it was worse than that.

The thread of the force in her mind, the one that had connected her to Anakin, their training bond, crackled like it had been struck by lightning. White hot electricity raced up the bond, lighting up her head with pain. She desperately grasped at it, forcing her singed force presence to reach out for him, but the bond crumpled into ash. A shockwave seemed to blast through the force. She, shuddering and wracked with sobs, was left with a spreading, gaping, dark void of pain in her mind where there had once been Anakin's exuberant life and light.

Shocked and panicked, Ahsoka slammed down the strongest mental shields she could muster, cutting herself off from the force. She couldn't feel anything anymore… wouldn't allow herself. A high pitched ringing whine in her montrals was all she could register as she began to make sense of what had happened.

So that was psychic backlash, she realized dimly. Once she could not feel the chaos of the force, she was able to recall hearing of the phenomenon. As if from a dream, Ahsoka remembered speculating about it with some other padawans, all sharing a sense of curious dread. Backlash affected Jedi whose bonds with another force-sensitive had snapped suddenly, usually due to the severing of a training bond by the death of a master or padawan.

Oh force. The death of a master. _Anakin._

He was gone.

 _He was gone._

After what may have been seconds or minutes or hours, she became aware that in her tear-blurred vision there was a shape, a person's face, moving, close to her. Then she registered sound: Rex, calling her name. She blinked rapidly and furiously rubbed at her eyes.

"Ahsoka! Ahsoka, dammit, what's wrong?"

He was worried, and had resorted to ordering her. Following an order. Ahsoka could do that much. She wasn't sure how she was able to meet his eyes,

"Anakin… I felt..." she choked out.

His brow furrowed, but she saw understanding and his own grief bloom in his eyes.

"What do you need?" he asked after a beat, ever loyal.

"I…" _I need my master_ she thought bitterly.

"I need to get out of here. Soon." she managed. She needed space to think. Rex stared at her for a few more moments, then nodded, leaving her alone in the house, going back outside to finish digging. She remained, staring at the wall. She must've been thinking about something but she didn't know what it was. It didn't matter.

After a while, Rex came back. She hadn't moved from the position he'd left her in, curled in on herself. He extended a hand, and she used it to pull herself upright. She followed him back outside, to the mound of dirt that covered a clone body. Ahsoka had expected it to be hard to leave her lightsabers behind, but now she just numbly unclipped them from her belt and set them in the dirt. She didn't feel like fighting. Her hand brushed against the string of beads she had clipped onto her belt next to the sabers. When she had last seen him, Anakin had given the padawan beads back to her at long last. He had told her she should at least have them, even if she didn't want to wear them.

Ahsoka knelt down, almost placing the beads next to her lightsaber hilts. But then she would have nothing of him at all. She returned the beads to their spot on her belt.

Kneeling there for a moment longer, she cautiously opened herself back up to the force. After all, she would need it to keep them safe and to get them off-planet without being detected. But she kept the raw end of the bond shielded, not wanting to feel that and be reminded again.

She was not a Jedi, but what little the Jedi had taught her about grief was all she knew. _There is no death, there is the force._ She thought bitterly that his "return to the force" shouldn't have bothered her; she hadn't been allowed to be attached to him. His absence would have been a mere passing sadness to a Jedi. She was no Jedi, but right now, she would try to be one. She forced herself to start taking deep breaths again. She had to let go of him. It was the only thing she could do.

 _I'm letting him go. He is with the force now. That is the beginning and end of it._

She told herself this, wanting desperately to believe it. Maybe one day she would.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

AN: this takes place right after "Hide and Seek"

 _14 BBY: a rebel base_

Ahsoka Tano was being patient. She had gone to the debriefing with Alliance high command. She had told them everything she had learned about the Empire and the Inquisitors, and reported everything that had happened on Radda. She had been given a rank and Alliance identification, and had memorized all sorts of decryption procedures and secret codes. She had shot numerous inquiring glances at Anakin silently begging him to _please tell her_ what had happened to him in the years she had thought he was dead. Ahsoka was determined to not be the only person debriefed today.

So, Ahsoka was waiting for him when Anakin stepped out of his and Leia's shared bedroom, having just tucked his daughter into bed. The small room they were in was part of Anakin's quarters and clearly served as a playroom, office, kitchen, and dining room all in one. Space and resources for the fledgling Alliance were limited, and these were, Ahsoka supposed, some of the most spacious accommodations the base had, considering Anakin ranked quite highly in the command structure.

Anakin leaned with his back against the wall next to the door, watching her, waiting for what she had to say. In the days of her apprenticeship, she would have expected him to be impatient, defensive. Now, he seemed content in waiting for her to initiate the conversation. Ahsoka sighed. Anakin might have changed a lot, and he might have been putting up a good front, but she knew that this would still be a touchy subject for him.

On top of that, she wasn't sure the best way to phrase the question she really wanted to ask. _Why the kriff did you and Senator Amidala have a daughter_ was probably not the most sensitive way of putting it.

"Leia…" she began, "her mother…"

"Padme's dead" Anakin supplied shortly, his voice a careful, deep monotone. His mental shields were a tight, impenetrable wall. She felt nothing from him. His frank, unfeeling was response was so unusual for him that she momentarily forgot it was her turn to speak.

Padme was dead. Ahsoka had assumed as much, but hearing for certain brought a lump to her throat. Padme had always been kind to her, had treated her like a little sister, or even a daughter. She had thought at first she was just being kind because Ahsoka was _Anakin's_ padawan, but had soon realized that Padme actually cared about her. _Don't cry,_ she told herself. _You were not attached to her. Her death was the will of the force._

"I… I'm sorry" she finally managed to say.

Anakin's mouth contorted into an incredibly rueful smile as he went over to the table and chairs in the corner of the room.

"This is probably going to be a long conversation. You should sit," he told her, nodding at a chair for her and pulling out one for himself. Ahsoka obeyed. She was walking on eggshells with Anakin, but was too curious to discontinue the path of the conversation. She rested her palms flat on the table once they were both seated and took a deep breath.

"What happened to her? And… how did you survive the purges? I thought… I thought I felt you die"

"It's a long story. Not one I ever wanted you to hear" Anakin hedged, a last ditch attempt to avoid this conversation.

"I deserve to know" Ahsoka insisted, finding her courage, and a little surprised to find herself angry.

"I mourned you, Anakin. And I wondered for a long time what happened to you and the Jedi, and why. I wondered if it was somehow my fault. I wondered if maybe I had _been_ there…"

Anakin shook his head at this.

"It was _not_ your fault. There was nothing you could've done,"

"Then _tell_ me. I need to understand" she begged.

"It started…" Anakin trailed off

"I don't know… I guess it was a lot of little things"

In Ahsoka's mind, the fall of the Republic and the genocide of the Jedi were a few very _big_ things. She wasn't sure anymore what "it" Anakin was talking about.

Anakin huffed in frustration. It was clear he had never tried to tell this story to anyone before.

"Start with Padme, then" Ahsoka suggested.

"Padme and I got married, right after the first battle of Geonosis" Anakin admitted. Ahsoka sucked in a breath. She had of course suspected that he and Padme had been involved with each other- had known they were once he answered her question about Leia's mother. But, married? Ahsoka opened her mouth, wanting to protest that he had kept this a secret from her the whole time, almost leading with something about how it was completely against the jedi code, but stopped once she realized how hypocritical and useless that was. She was not even a jedi herself. Was anyone anymore? The order had been decimated. Before she could collect herself enough to say any of that though, Anakin plowed on,

"When I came back to Coruscant after rescuing the Ch- Paltatine, she told me she was pregnant"

The corner of his mouth almost imperceptibly twitched up in remembrance but his lips quickly tightened into a frown again.

"That night, I started having dreams. Visions." A pause. "Of her dying in childbirth"

Emotion flashed through Ahsoka, and her hands clenched. She recalled too well her own visions of Padme's demise. They had been horrible, and she had only been Padme's friend. Anakin had been her husband.

"They were just like... like ones I had had before. Visions that came true"

Anakin dragged his flesh hand over his face, rubbing at his mouth with his palm. Ahsoka suspected he had wiped away tears, and was attempting to hide a tremble in his lips.

An image flashed through the force: Padme, her eyes squeezed shut, gritting her teeth, tears and sweat wetting her face. Ahsoka heard- _felt_ -echoes of a pained cry, a sobbed, "Anakin help me… _please_ "

She raised her eyes to Anakin, and his mental shields, having started to slip, slammed down again.

"Palpatine-" Anakin began again but stopped. Ahsoka blinked. How would he be linked to this? Sure, he had made himself the Emperor, he was evil, but Ahsoka would've thought that particular betrayal was separate from whatever happened to Padme while giving birth.

"He knew about the dreams"

Ahsoka again opened her mouth to object. Surely that was impossible.

"He was the sith master," Anakin confessed, "Sidious"

Ahsoka's hands under the table reflexively dropped to her lightsabers.

"He revealed himself to me. He told me that I could use the dark side to save her. He wanted me to become his apprentice"

Ahsoka was numb. The truth of his version of events rang in the force, but she was too overwhelmed to even have any sort of physical reaction to such revelations.

Anakin continued on. Once he had started talking he couldn't seem to stop. He told her of his growing distrust with the council, how they had asked him to spy on Paltatine, had given him a seat at Palpatine's request. How Palpatine had been playing everything, manipulating Anakin. How Master Windu and four masters had gone to assassinate Palpatine.

"Windu was going to kill him. An unarmed man"

"An unarmed man who had the key to saving my wife"

Anakin closed his eyes. His guilt roiled through the force, settling in the pit of Ahsoka's stomach. She was almost afraid to ask,

"What did you do?"

"Cut off Master Windu's saber hand. Palpatine hit him with force lightning. He fell out the window of Palpatine's office"

Ahsoka took a horrible, shuddering breath.

"He told me the only way to save Padme was to become his apprentice"

"Anakin…" Ahsoka trailed off, not sure what to think. He wouldn't.

Would he?

Unbidden, the times he'd forced choked sentients to get information out of them, the times he'd run into battle, saber blazing, anger blazing, the time he had gone after Obi Wan's supposed killer, rose to her mind. Her voice shook as she asked the dreaded question.

"Did you?"

"Yes"

Ahsoka rose, and drew one of her lightsabers, her free hand flitting to the hilt of her second blade on her belt but not drawing it. The weapon ignited with a sickening _chzzk_ , pure white light emanating from the hilt. She had barely thought about initiating the action; her aggressive response to being faced with a sith had been conditioned into her during the war. By Anakin himself.

She had once found the pale glow of her sabers comforting. Now, it was cruel and sickeningly cold.

Anakin had sprung to his feet a split second after she had, hand hovering over the hilt of his own lightsaber on his belt. The hilt looked the same as the one she had always known him to carry. She imagined it igniting, blood red, bleeding like her own crystals had one bled for the sixth brother.

All of this flashed through her mind in a split second; her battle instincts were beginning to kick in. But she stopped for an instant with her lightsaber raised in front of her body.

Though she had not wanted to admit it as a padawan, she knew her master was fully capable of falling to the dark side. She had witnessed him on the brink before. She herself had some semblance of knowledge of what it felt like to be dark: weak memories of the awful ordeal on Mortis.

Surely, she should have noticed earlier, upon first encountering him in the hangar, if he had been using the dark side. Why hadn't she?

Her light saber still hummed before her, not dropping an inch, but Ahsoka studied Anakin's face. His azure eyes were not trained on her. They stared, horrified, over her shoulder, at something behind her. Keeping her gaze glued on him, she stretched out her feelings, searching in the force for the source of his distraction. She found a force presence, flickering wildly with fear, but with a faint hint of resolution and a need to protect.

Ahsoka craned her head to look at the little girl who stood in the doorway, clad in a white nightgown, brown eyes wide and wet, Padme's unruly curls sticking out from her head in every direction and surrounding her pale face. Her fists were clenched at her sides, and Ahsoka knew, that Leia would try, despite her terror, to stop Ahsoka if she made a move against Anakin.

"Princess," Anakin began, his voice steady and soothing for his daughter's sake.

"Everything's okay." He didn't continue, obviously not sure how to explain the situation to her. Not placated, Leia stood stock still, her eyes fixed on Ahsoka's lightsaber, which was still drawn against her father.

"Ahsoka," Anakin addressed her now,

"Search your feelings. I'm not a sith- not anymore"

He let down his shields. His grief and guilt flooded the force, and his fear too. But he wasn't dark. Behind the roaring sandstorm of his emotions, his mind shone like Tatooine's suns, with the clarity of its crystal blue sky. She knew it to be the mind of her master, Anakin Skywalker. Perhaps it was even brighter than she remembered it from the rare occasion he had let her in as a padawan to show her mental shielding techniques.

"No" Ahsoka conceded. "You're not a sith"

Ahsoka lowered her lightsaber. As soon as he knew she wouldn't hurt him, Anakin brushed past her, making a beeline for his terrified daughter. He crossed the small room in a few long strides, dropping to his knees in front of Leia, folding her into his arms, letting her bury her face into his broad chest. Ahsoka remembered the rare feeling: the safety she had felt when he embraced her as a young girl. Encircled in his strong arms, she had felt for a moment like nothing evil could ever touch her.

Ahsoka deactivated her weapon, placing it on the table and then bracing her hand on the cool metal surface next to it. She let out a shuddering breath, realizing she had been holding it in. A million questions ran through her head. The light she had seen in Anakin went against everything she had been taught about the dark side. _Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny._

But Anakin had been a sith. And now he wasn't. How could that be possible?

Ahsoka had also been taught that sith didn't love. But watching Anakin whispering platitudes into Leia's ear, Ahsoka knew that Anakin loved his daughter.

After a moment, Anakin shifted, and Ahsoka's muscles tensed, but he was only moving to stand up, hoisting Leia in his arms.

"Tea sounds good right now, doesn't it?" he asked Leia, but in a loud enough voice that Ahsoka could hear him and know his intent was innocuous as he moved towards her and the kitchen. The girl nodded mutely. Ahsoka leaned heavily on the table still, drawing deep breaths to dispel her tension and emotion into the force. She knew she shouldn't have been, but having seen into his mind, she was sure in her heart, that Anakin could be trusted.

She watched Anakin help his daughter measure out the ingredients to prepare the tea. It was, she distantly realized, the secret Skywalker family recipe from Tatooine, the one he used to make for Ahsoka in the mess on the Resolute or in the temple after she had experienced a particularly harrowing nightmare. She had wondered then how he managed to obtain the spices needed, and still did now.

Everything about Anakin Skywalker, it seemed, was an enigma.

Occasionally Leia would glance over at Ahsoka with distrust. The careful rapport they had formed in the hangar earlier had been destroyed by the sight of "Auntie 'Soka" facing her father with a lightsaber.

Eventually, Anakin pulled two mugs from a cabinet and poured the finished tea into them. Wordlessly, he held one out to Ahsoka, meeting her eyes for a fleeting moment, and she took it, her long, slender fingers shaking slightly. He then switched to holding Leia with his mechno hand and dipped his flesh pinky into the second mug. Seemingly satisfied that the beverage wasn't too hot, he handed the mug to Leia. The large handle dwarfed Leia's tiny hands, and the cup obscured most of her face from view as she raised it to her lips.

The achingly familiar taste slipped warmly over Ahsoka's tongue as she drank from her own mug. Her hands stopped shaking after a second sip.

After drinking in silence for a while, Leia leaned up to whisper in Anakin's ear. Her eyes were focused on Ahsoka. Anakin whispered a few sentences back to her, and whatever he had said made Leia relax. The little girl let her eyes slip closed tiredly for a second before she nestled her head into Anakin's chest sleepily. He gently took the mug from her, and drained the rest of it before placing it on the counter.

"Think you can go back to sleep now?" He murmured into her curls. A beat passed before Leia minutely nodded her head.

"Good girl" he responded.

Anakin glanced at Ahsoka warily before carrying Leia back into the bedroom. They were out of her sight for a minute or two, which should have bothered Ahsoka if Anakin were truly a sith. _Never let an enemy out of your sight if you can help it_ Anakin had told her after her first confrontation with general Grievous.

"I'm not your enemy, Snips" Anakin startled her, having reappeared in the doorway.

"If I were, I'd be leading the Empire, not the rebels" he continued. This brought Ahsoka's many questions roaring back to the forefront of her mind, but first she asked,

"Is she okay?"

Anakin crossed back over to the table and sat down again before answering,

"She was pretty shaken up, but she's already asleep again. Rex must've worn her out pretty good playing with her while you were debriefing"

Ahsoka sat down across from him, not sure if she should apologize. Anakin precluded her saying anything by offering,

"I don't blame you. I would've reacted the same way in your place. Probably worse."

Ahsoka dropped her gaze to the table, choosing not to think about what "worse" would've meant.

"Anyways," Anakin continued after a long silence, "I was a sith, all told, for about an hour."


	3. Chapter 3

_19 BBY: Coruscant_

Anakin Skywalker- no, Darth Vader- had reached an intersection while piloting the speeder. In one direction lay the Jedi Temple. The dragon that was burning inside his heart reared its ugly head as he observed the temple's stately silhouette in the Coruscant skyline. _Destroy them_. It whispered to him. _It is your Destiny._ Vader's hands twitched on the controls, about to turn in that direction, but his gaze caught on another building. 500 Replica lay in the other direction. Padme and their child. _You can save them_ , the dragon taunted. _Rid the galaxy of the treacherous Jedi and you will be strong enough_.

 _Soon_ , Vader told it. He reached out for Padme in the force. She was not force sensitive, but he was so powerful that he could still feel her presence, faintly. He also sensed the presence of the baby growing inside her, much brighter than its mother, but blurred and undefined at the edges. He sensed that Padme felt overwhelming worry for her husband, a stronger emotion than she had an explanation for. Vader briefly entertained the idea that carrying a force-sensitive child made her more perceptive to the force, and the conflict in it. Vader steered the speeder towards his wife- his _life_ \- not able to stand being the source of her distress. Yes, _after_ he had assuaged her fears he would execute his master's orders. The Jedi could keep, as they did not suspect any sort of imminent attack; they could be allowed to live for a few more minutes while Vader carried out his personal business.

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Padme hurried towards her husband as he parked the speeder on the landing pad as quickly as she could at such a late stage in pregnancy. One glance at his face told her something was very wrong.

"Ani, what's happened? You look troubled," She fretted.

He took her face in his strong hands, running his gaze over her form, hungrily making sure she was safe. His touch was gentle, but she felt an inexplicable spike of danger in her gut as his hands brushed her neck.

"I've found a way to save you, Padme"

Padme was about to tell him again that he need not worry about his nightmares, that she was in perfect health. But his demeanor didn't make sense. He said he had found a way to save her… She knew Ani well, and had seen what his face looked like when he was satisfied he had solved a problem. No, the storm behind his eyes, which were tinted strangely yellow in the Coruscant twilight, spoke of a much different emotion.

"Then why are you so upset?" She pressed. Anakin hesitated but answered her.

"The Chancellor and I have discovered that the Council is plotting to overthrow him, and take his power for themselves"

Padme gasped. It didn't fit with her perception of the Jedi Council at all. She trusted Obi Wan and Yoda. Surely they wouldn't…

"I can barely believe it…" she replied, "What are you going to do?"

Something shifted in her husband's expression.

"The Chancellor has ordered me to go to the Temple and… arrest the Jedi. To lock down the Temple"

She felt her baby stir inside her, and she suddenly knew that when he said "arrest" he meant "kill" and that "lock down" meant "raze". The flash of danger she had felt a moment ago surged again, and she found herself stepping back from Anakin, shaking her head. She took a deep breath. She was determined to let reason guide her.

"What evidence do you have of this plot?" She asked, as levelly as she could manage.

"Master Windu and three other masters went to his office to arrest him. At saber point. They said he was the Sith Lord they've been looking for"

"Is he?"

Anakin hesitated, a scowl twisting his handsome features, and she knew she was right.

"He's a sith, yes, but he isn't using his powers for evil. He knows a way to save you, Padme. He promised to teach me, and after the Jedi are gone, we can live together with our baby, as a family." Anakin forced all this out of his mouth hurriedly, as if he was barely aware of what he was saying.

Padme continued backing away from him. Horrible truth washed over her. Anakin was drawing on the dark side again, she was sure of it. He had the same look in his eyes as when he had confessed to her about the slaughter of the Tusken village. This time, he would slaughter Jedi- his own people. She thought she might throw up.

"You're going to kill them all, aren't you?" She accused. Her throat ached with the effort of holding back approaching tears.

"Anakin, even if the Chancellor is right about the council, surely many of the Jedi are innocent and loyal to the Republic." She reasoned.

Anakin didn't say anything for a moment. He just stared at her.

"Padme, this is the only way I can keep you safe! Come with me to Naboo once I have done as my Master has asked." He sounded frustrated at her unwillingness to believe him, but did not outright deny that he intended to kill the Jedi.

"I know you don't agree with the Chancellor, but once I've learned how to save you, I can overthrow him! You and I can make things the way we want them to be!" He was becoming increasingly irate.

"Anakin, you're going down a path I will not follow!" Padme exclaimed, tears now noticeably choking her voice.

"I didn't ask for you to do such horrible things for me, and I never would! If you destroy the lives of innocent Jedi, I will not be your wife anymore! And I would never let my child live with you, a… a murderer!"

Anakin reeled at her harsh words. Then his glare turned even more ominous. Padme realized his eyes did not look yellow by a trick of the light, but _were_ yellow. The baby kicked and stirred inside her, and she frowned and put her hand almost absently to the spot, still concentrating on the unfamiliar man before her. She rubbed her belly small circles to soothe the child. Anakin's gaze, something in it loosening as if he had sensed something from the baby that she could not, snapped to her stomach. He quickly began to stride towards her reaching out to touch her.

"Padme, are you oka-"

She again felt danger spike through her. She would not let him lay his hands on her, not in the state he was in now. As soon as he got close enough, she punched him in the face.


End file.
